Simon vs. The Week-Long Celebration: Top Ten Reasons To Read

Hello and welcome to the second post in a week-long series dedicated to a celebration of Becky Albertalli’s forthcoming 2015 debut, Simon vs. The Homo Sapiens Agenda! Today I’ll be using The Broke and the Bookish‘s popular Top Ten Tuesday meme as a guide to list my Top Ten Reasons Why You Should Read Simon vs. The Homo Sapiens Agenda. Like, immediately. Have I mentioned that it’s being published today? Get to a bookstore. Right now. Go on. I’ll wait here.

Title Simon vs. The Homo Sapiens Agenda
Author Becky Albertalli
Pages 320 Pages
Genre Contemporary, Realistic Fiction, Romance, LGBTQ
Publisher Balzer + Bray
Publisher On April 7th, 2015
Find It On Goodreads ● Amazon.com ● Barnes & Noble ● IndieBound

Sixteen-year-old and not-so-openly gay Simon Spier prefers to save his drama for the school musical. But when an email falls into the wrong hands, his secret is at risk of being thrust into the spotlight. Now Simon is actually being blackmailed: if he doesn’t play wingman for class clown Martin, his sexual identity will become everyone’s business. Worse, the privacy of Blue, the pen name of the boy he’s been emailing, will be compromised.

With some messy dynamics emerging in his once tight-knit group of friends, and his email correspondence with Blue growing more flirtatious every day, Simon’s junior year has suddenly gotten all kinds of complicated. Now, change-averse Simon has to find a way to step out of his comfort zone before he’s pushed out — without alienating his friends, compromising himself, or fumbling a shot at happiness with the most confusing, adorable guy he’s never met.

“Leah’s also into slash fanfiction, which got me curious enough to poke around the internet and find some last summer. I couldn’t believe how much there was to choose from: Harry Potter and Draco Malfoy hooking up in thousands of ways in every broom closet at Hogwarts. I found the ones with decent grammar and stayed up reading all night. It was a weird couple of weeks. That was the summer I taught myself how to do laundry. There are some socks that shouldn’t be washed by your mom.”

“I was going to ask you to see a movie,” he says, smiling. When he smiles, I smile.
“No movies. I hate movies.”
“Oh, really?”
“Really, really. Why would I want to watch other people kissing,” I say, “when I could be kissing you?”

“I have a sneaking suspicion you’re not 100% committed to your Oreo diet. The guidelines are really pretty basic. No excuses. Breakfast is obviously an Oreo granola bar or Oreo Pop-Tart. No, they’re not gross. Shut up. They’re amazing. Lunch should be Oreo pizza with an Oreo milkshake and a couple of those Oreo truffles my mom makes (a.k.a. the most delicious freaking things in the universe). Dinner is deep-fried Oreos served on top of Oreo ice cream, and for a drink, it’s Oreos dissolved in milk. No water. Only Oreo milk. Dessert can be Oreos straight up. Sound reasonable? It’s for your health, Blue.”

“Did you just tell us you’re gay?” asks Nick.
“Yes.”
“Okay,” he says. Abby swats him. “What?”
“That’s all you’re going to say? Okay?”
“He said not to make a big deal out of it,” Nick says. “What am I supposed to say?”
“Say something supportive. I don’t know. Or awkwardly hold his hand like I did. Anything.”
Nick and I look at each other.
“I’m not holding your hand,” I tell him, smiling a little.
“All right” – he nods – “but know that I would.”

“White shouldn’t be the default any more than straight should be the default. There shouldn’t even be a default.”

“I have to meet him.
I don’t think I can keep this up. I don’t care if it ruins everything. I’m this close to making out with my laptop screen.
Blue Blue Blue Blue Blue Blue Blue.”

“What’s up, Simon?” Cal says.
“Oh, well. Nothing. Hey, are we supposed to be doing anything right now?” And as soon as I ask it, I start blushing, because the way I phrased it totally makes it sound like I’m propositioning him. Hey, Cal. Are we supposed to be making out right now? Are we supposed to be having mind-blowing sex in the dressing room right now?“

“I’m tired of coming out. All I ever do is come out. I try not to change, but I keep changing, in all these tiny ways. I get a girlfriend. I have a beer. And every freaking time, I have to reintroduce myself to the universe all over again.”

“And I do think you’re cute. You’re absurdly cute. I think I spend a little too much time thinking how adorable you are in emails and trying to translate that into a viable mental image for daydreams and the like.”

It is a truth universally acknowledged that Becky Albertalli is one of the kindest, funniest and most generous souls I’ve ever had the pleasure of meeting. I feel proud to call her a friend, and it is always an absolute pleasure to support both her and her work.